Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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