Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
