WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
