So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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