Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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