shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
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I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
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Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.