so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
