he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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