Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
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bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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