How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
