Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
