I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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