So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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