Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
