there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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