Me too!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
