i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm way too hungover for life right now
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
