I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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