Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
