Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
