Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
