We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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