Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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