Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
