dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
