First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize