white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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