just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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