i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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