i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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