I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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