i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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