So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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