only if we run a train.
done.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
