Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize