So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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