I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
