worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize