How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
