hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
