i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
