Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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