let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
