I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
