Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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