dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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