Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize