So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
