I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I think my moral compass just broke
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
