he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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