your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize