yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
