Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
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I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
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I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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