All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
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I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
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So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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