maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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