ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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