This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So apparently I’m into choking now
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
