please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
