just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
a search helicopter?!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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